It is graduation season. While most commencement addresses are filled with general platitudes and inspiring messages for the graduates that are too often easily forgotten, the viral graduation speech given by Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas has been a lightning rod of controversy.
The biggest reaction stems from the remarks he directed at the female graduates. He warned them they have been told “diabolical lies” and stated his wife Isabelle would be the first to say her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and mother. He went on to say he believes the majority of female graduates are most excited about their marriages and the children they will bring into the world. During his commencement speech, Butker also criticized President Biden, abortion, IVF, surrogacy, birth control, and homosexuality.
There is no question Butker had a First Amendment right to express his opinion and should not lose his job for it, despite a petition signed by more than 135,000 people demanding the Chiefs fire him. However, the reaction is a reminder of important things to consider when crafting a speech, either for yourself or a client.
- Remember Your Audience – Be inclusive, not exclusive. By telling women in the audience who worked hard to earn their degrees that their true vocation and happiness will come from being a wife and mother, Butker insulted and alienated many women by dismissing their right to choose their own path. While being at home brings satisfaction to Butker’s wife, there are others (possibly including Butker’s mother who is a physicist), who draw self-esteem from the paid work they do outside the home.
- Consider Whom you Represent – When you speak, your remarks may represent your own opinion, but they can be associated with your place of work and / or the location where you are speaking. The National Football League where Butker works issued a statement distancing themselves from his remarks, saying, “His views are not those of the NFL as an organization. The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger.” The NFL has struggled to attract female fans and it’s unlikely Butker’s remarks helped change that narrative. His viral graduation speech also brought attention to the college where he spoke. Although some at the school supported his remarks, The Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica, one of the founding sponsors of Benedictine College, criticized it saying it fostered division instead of unity. It wasn’t the best way to show appreciation for the invitation.
- Pick Quotes Carefully – Many use quotes in speeches, but the misuse of a famous phrase can have an unintended effect. Butker wove “Familiarity breeds contempt” into his graduation speech. First written by writer Geoffrey Chaucer in the 1300s, the phrase is most recently attributed to Taylor Swift’s song “Bejeweled”. Not only were the lyrics used differently than how the song uses it, but the person he took the quote from is especially resonant since Swift is dating Kansas City Chiefs’ tight end Travis Kelce. By calling Swift “my teammate’s girlfriend” in the speech he sends the message that he thinks girlfriend is her most important attribute, further alienating the very large and lucrative fanbase of the world’s most famous singer songwriter who is also a very shrewd businesswoman. You can read more about the Taylor Swift effect on public discourse here. Needless to say, mess with Swifties at your own peril.
Being invited to deliver a speech is both an honor and a privilege. It is a chance to connect with an audience, inspire action, and build your brand in a positive way. Butker may have achieved his goal of sharing his values with others, but he did so in a way that alienated and upset many of the people to whom he was speaking and the other organizations with which he is affiliated. Graduation speeches are better when they bring people together.
