The public appetite for apologies may be at an all-time high. There are calls for public figures to apologize for everything from Rep. Ilhan Omar using anti-Semitic tropes, to presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke for praising his wife Amy for raising his children “sometimes with my help” and a disturbing story he wrote at age 15, to the Michigan State coach yelling at his players on national television during the NCAA tournament.
New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is currently contesting two misdemeanor counts of allegedly soliciting another for prostitution in Florida. On Saturday, after weeks of silence and legal maneuvering, Kraft issued a carefully crafted public statement that said in part, “I am truly sorry. I know I have hurt and disappointed my family, my close friends, my co-workers, our fans and many others who rightfully hold me to a higher standard.”
An apology is a tricky thing from a public relations standpoint. Done correctly, that is to say when one acknowledges that what one did was wrong, an apology can quiet controversy and allow the media to move on to another story. It can also be the first step that encourages people to forgive both the sin and the sinner. .. However, apologizing also can put one at risk of appearing to be weak, insincere, and forever being linked on the public record to the offending act. Using the Kraft statement as an example offers some of the things to think about when considering whether and how to issue a public apology.
Apologizing for what?
In Kraft’s statement, he never admitted to anything other than disappointing people. Many were, in fact, disappointed by the apology as well as the alleged act, and would have found the statement more satisfying if he’d given specifics. Would doing so have put him in legal jeopardy? The fact that his apology was so vague leaves us all wondering about his culpability.
When to apologize?
If you are seen as apologizing because you have to, it’s less powerful than if you apologize out of your own volition. The Kraft apology came on the eve of him facing colleagues at the NFL owners meeting. The NFL has the option of punishing Kraft for his alleged transgressions and is likely to do so, given the public perception of the league’s poor handling of cases of players accused of domestic abuse. That timing diluted the power of Kraft’s apology.
How far to go?
The best kind of apology is brief without too much embellishment. By including the statement, “I have extraordinary respect for women,” Kraft reminds people that he is accused of doing something that is anything but respectful to women. Evoking the name of his late wife, Myra, underlines the divide between her charitable work during their fifty-year marriage and his alleged actions.
Only time will tell the long term impact of Robert Kraft’s apology. Actions speak louder than words. Hopefully, the Patriots’ owner will make good on his promise to use his platform to “regain confidence and respect.”
