There are very few things that Republicans and Democrats have in common these days, but the shocking shooting of former President Donald Trump that killed an innocent bystander on July 13 in Butler, Pennsylvania led to one truth on which we can all agree. The polarity in our country is too heated and we need to bring the temperature down.
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It is challenging to do this in a world in which people live in news silos, political coverage and sports coverage seem to have merged, and the elections seems to have been reduced to nothing more than a competition between the red team and the blue team.
Here are a few ways we can all be conscious of how we can either mitigate or add to the problem:
- Pause before posting – What happened in Pennsylvania was reprehensible and stirred people’s emotions no matter which candidate they support. In the social media world where there seems to be no filter between think and express, people launched theories immediately following the shooting without any basis in fact – with some saying it was a planned attack by Democrats and others saying it was a fake shooting that was staged. It’s hard to wait for an investigation to provide answers and information about what would motivate someone to do something so unimaginable, but it’s harder to take back something that is quickly proven to be untrue. Give it a minute before allowing your emotions to create reasoning or drive communication.
- Learn more – Everyone leads busy lives, but it is worth the time to investigate the issues involved in the election rather than picking a candidate based on their demeanor or how articulate they are in expressing themselves. Find out what they stand for and what they plan to do if elected. Watch debates, speeches, and conventions as they occur, rather than waiting to be told after the fact what happened by the news outlet of your choice. One soundbite is not enough. Talk to people you disagree with, even if it is uncomfortable. It forces you to defend your position and learn about what other people think.
- Language matters – Working with Teak’s nonprofit clients has made me more conscious of the words I use. We need to be careful about using language that refers to violence in a casual way, saying things like “I’ll shoot you an email,” referring to a gathering as a “target rich environment,” or giving “trigger warnings” about uncomfortable content in a college class. A friend recently caught herself saying her team was “killing it,” when she was simply trying to explain how great they are at their work. Not glamorizing violence can be a first step in reducing its presence in our society.
- Give people grace – Everyone has said and done things they regret. These days people are so quick to attach a label or “cancel” someone when they say something offensive. Rather than condemning someone anonymously from a safe distance, tactfully and in private point out what they said, be curious about their intentions and give them an opportunity to understand why what they said is offensive, so they can learn from it and have a chance to apologize.
In his 1962 book “Travels with Charley.” one of my favorite authors, John Steinbeck, talked about what he learned from his travels across America with his dog Charley. “For all our enormous geographic range, for all our sectionalism, for all our interwoven breeds drawn from every part of the ethnic world, we are a nation, a new breed.” I agree. As Americans we should focus more on what brings us together than what divides us. Only then do we have a chance to make the shooting in Butler, Pennsylvania a turning point and truly bring the temperature down.
